Laid Aside For You: Adam Guillory

Wesley Covenant Prayer

Lord, I am no longer my own, but Yours. Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You, exalted for You or brought low for You. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and heartily yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, You are mine, and I am Yours. So be it. And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in Lord, I am no longer my own, but Yours.  

Hello, friends!

We just got back from our mission trips, and while I was in Chile, I was thinking about how I would write this Harvest post, not because it would be a hard one for me to write, but because I wanted to remember what God did for me while I was there, and hopefully write it out.

One week after landing in Chile, I started coming down with some cold/flu-like symptoms. The team leaders decided it would be best for me to have a rest day, so I did. Two days later, I improved a lot, but then had a sudden downturn. For the next week, I was on and off in my bed, trying to do things but getting fatigued really easily, dealing with constant migraines, and coughing a dry, barking cough all day and night. Eventually, we decided to take me to a doctor, where I was diagnosed with bronchitis, and given a lot of antibiotics, prednisone, and, if that didn’t finish the job, an inhaler. I then spent another five days in my bed. This meant that due to this sickness, I basically missed two weeks of mission. In some ways, this hurt a lot. I spent a lot of time in our hostel alone, while the rest of the group was either doing work or doing something fun, like hiking a mountain, getting a tour of Santiago, or just going to events with El Oasis, the group we were working with. Though missing out was hard and painful, the harder part was being alone in my bed for most of the day with nothing but my thoughts and my books to keep me company. I read a lot of good stuff during this time, but to narrow the purpose of this Harvest post, I’ll focus on where my thoughts landed.

There were three places typical for my thoughts to go. The first place was grief that I had thought was passed, but would be brought up. A lot of tears were shed thinking about how I would not see my dad again in the land of the living. The second place was self pity, in which I would be sad that I couldn’t be with my friends and that I came all this way to sit in a bed. The third place, and where I will dwell, was love.

The form of this thought went to two places. The first was to the ways I have been loved and the second to the ways I love. At first, I thought about the hospitality shown to me during the trip, people who had helped me over the past year, and the ways I have been sought after by God, friends, family, and even complete strangers. In the second, I would start by thinking about a girl I have a crush on, but then, at some point something else clicked into place. I realized that if I desire this girl as much as I do, and I want her to desire me in the same way, imagine how much God loves her, desires her, and wants to be with her. Considering how flawed, yet present, my own love is, imagine how much God loves me, desires me, and wants to be with me. In fact, how much does God truly want and desire each individual person and the Church as a whole? This lens made me realize in a way I don’t think I ever have that God really wants to be with me and is always standing by me and, to some small extent, what it means for the Church to be the bride of Christ.

This then brings me to the Wesley Covenant Prayer, referenced in the title of this post. For this trip, I wanted to serve, but was rendered unable to. I thought during this time about the phrase, “Let me be put to work for you, and let me be set aside by you,” and how that worked with “Thy will be done.” God set me aside during this period of mission, but He set me aside and placed in me the understanding that He loves me. He does not love me for the work I do. He does not love me for the prayers I pray or the scripture I read or any manner of discipline with which I live my life. He loves me for the same reason a husband loves his wife, and a wife her husband. He loves me unconditionally, faithfully, and fully. He wants me because He chose me, raised me, and even now holds me close.

Amen.

Adam Guillory is a recent Louisiana Tech graduate who has blessed our community with his presence and joy since he showed up on our doorstep the fall of his freshman year. His wisdom, excitement, and tenacious desire to serve are priceless gifts to our ministry. Adam is passionate about swordsmanship, D&D, puns, and his friends. He will be serving as a Missionary Intern this upcoming school year, and it has been a delight to see him grow in his faith.